How to beat infertility...
Do you know that the hashtag #webeatinfertility crops up nearly 42 THOUSAND times on Instagram? I really do understand why. Truly, I do.
But…beating infertility? Oh. I think we need to talk about this.
I mean, first of all: if you haven't 'beaten it' yet are you therefore losing? Are you a loser because you're trying to make a baby and it's not happening?
Of course you're not. That is way harsh.
I had my IVF daughter 2 years ago, but I didn't 'beat infertility' when I had her. I stopped fighting a battle long before I even reached the point of IVF treatment because it had struck me months before, that fighting and battling was ever such hard work tbh.
When I was fighting every day, I was getting absolutely knackered. I also had no idea how long this fight was going to go on for and the thought was utterly exhausting - almost crippling sometimes actually.
I discovered that I was just as strong, tenacious and passionate about building a family when I turned my back on my personal infertility war and instead poured my energy into LOVING MYSELF UNCONDITIONALLY every. single. day. Actually that's not true...I was so much stronger.
So instead of feeling at war with our situation or trying to beat it, I promised myself that I would look for beauty and find a place of peace.
I stopped schlepping on my armour and heading out into the battlefield every morning. And it completely changed my life forever.
Beating infertility for me, was actually, incredibly: finding peace within it.
You are still a warrior, but you are not at war. You are gentle, strong, peaceful, courageous and powerful.
THAT SOUNDS INTERESTING, HOW DO I DO THAT PLEASE?
It takes practice and support to reach this mindset but if you want it, you can have it.
And let's be clear: feeling at peace doesn't mean that you’re not moving forward every day and trying to make a baby happen just as much as when you're on the ‘MUST FIGHT BATTLE AND BEAT INFERTILITY’ treadmill.
It just means you’re fuelled sustainably, gently and powerfully by energy, light and compassion (instead of pain, frustration and sadness).
It is Valentine’s Day this week and one way to start experiencing a sense of peace is just to practice self love. Do not be fuelled by how simple the below ideas sound! Apply them to your life today and just see how you feel afterwards. Self love isn't complicated but it does require action.
SELF LOVE EXERCISES
Write down 10 things you really love doing
Write down how often you do those things
Schedule some time into your diary this week to do as many as you can
Write down 5 things you like about yourself
Write down 5 things you like about your life as it is right now
Practice saying no. You don't have to go to that baby shower if it's going to be too hard. You can say no and still be a kind, generous and loving friend; you're just protecting yourself.
Nourish your body: eat a good meal, do some yoga or give yourself a foot massage. (Seriously. Sooooo good!) there are so many ways you can physically nourish yourself and it's one of the best acts of self love.
Got some great self love tips? Let me know so I can share them with the community on Thursday (1.30pm GMT) and to talk more about losing the war jargon but staying strong.
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